Sunday, April 24, 2016

Writing is art. Book Publishing is a business. Many of the errors I have made along my self-publishing journey arise out of my passion for the art. But at the end of the day, I have to, I have to constantly remind myself (as an artist) that the Book Publishing business bean counting. Cause and effect. Observing trends, changing approach, and tabulating results.

One decision I am proud to have made, though, is not taking short cuts. Doing everything in connection with this project with integrity. I had always felt writing was my gift, my blessing, and as such, I needed to be responsible with my gift so that God could continue to bless my endeavors. I wasn't just responsible, I was extra careful, turning down many opportunities that could have paid my bills quick. But I trust and stand firm.

I know what I am up against. But now, and yeassss, it has taken me almost this long to finally get it, I am NO ARMY of one. Again, I blame my do-it-yourself/if-you-want-something-done-right mentality on Lonely-Only Child Syndrome (a completely self-diagnosed condition and one whose name I coined myself, but other only children will definitely 'get it'). Growing up without siblings, there were long stretches of childhood where my whole world consisted of me and my own active imagination, finding the answers to satisfy my advanced curiosity. But, as smart as I think I am, I've learned that I don't have ALL the answers. 

There are others who are passionate and gifted in those areas that have challenged me. There are others who notice things that I don't notice and care enough to alert me to dangers. There are others who may not know me personally, but respect what I have been doing or how I've been doing it. There are those who are willing to extend their energy, generosity, advice, kindness, network. There are those who believe in me and what I am doing. There are those who love my work. There are those who love me....just because. There are those who love spite of. I am not alone.

And if, by some chance, I were to ascribe every instance of generosity and attach it with a debt, I would spend the rest of my life returning favors and still owing. But today, I humbly accept the blessings that come my way and recognize them as such. Blessings.